Obedience Is Hard

Several weeks ago, I was asked to share part of my story in the weekend services at our church on Thanksgiving weekend. My heart started pounding the minute I was asked the question, and my flesh cried out, “NO!” Anyone who knows me, knows that I really, really, REALLY dislike being the center of attention and I do NOT like speaking in front of lots of people. I get very nervous, my voice shakes, my hands shake and I often get emotional…..not a pretty sight. šŸ™‚ But, instead of saying no, I asked, “Does this mean I have to be on stage?” I was hoping for maybe a video, rather than live. But a video was not what they wanted. I asked for time to pray about it. I really didn’t need to pray about it because I already knew the Lord was calling me to this. But, I just couldn’t make myself say yes…I guess I was stalling. I didn’t hear back from the lady that asked me for a couple of weeks, and to tell you the truth, I was hoping they had changed their minds or decided to ask someone else. But, as I said, I knew the Lord was telling me to do this. You see, about eight months or so ago (the exact date was April 11, because I have it in my journal šŸ™‚ ) I was praying and asking God if I should continue with my blog. “Do people get tired of reading about my life? Sometimes, I feel like I’m saying the same things over and over. I don’t want people to think I’m trying to get them to feel sorry for me. I don’t want to make people sad. God, I started this blog because I felt like you were telling me to do it. I felt like you wanted me to share with others about your goodness and faithfulness even in hard times. To encourage others that Your plan can be trusted. I’m just not sure what to do?” And as I prayed and read God’s Word, He led me to a verse for my answer. The verse is Matt. 10:27….What I tell you in the dark, say in the light, and what you hear whispered, proclaim on the housetops.”

And so, when I was asked to speak at church, I knew what my answer was supposed to be. I knew that what God had been whispering to me, He wanted me to proclaim on the housetops (or stage, in this case!). The thing is, I’ve been walking with the Lord long enough to know firsthand that feeling of guilt and regret when I knowingly disobey Him. It is NOT a good feeling. So, with much fear and trembling and an abundance of faith in the Lord to help me through it, I said yes. And, I’ll admit I was very nervous, my voice was shaking, my hands were shaking, I got emotional, and it wasn’t a pretty sight. I’ve watched it…I know. I look like I was mad at the world, I don’t think I even smiled once! But, I did it and I made it through all three services without throwing up on stage! And can I just say…I’m glad it’s over! But more importantly, I’m glad that I obeyed. To God be the glory!

I’m so thankful for my three wonderful children who stood with me, as I shared OUR story. My prayer is that the Lord would use our story to encourage others and point others to Him. Several people have asked for a way to see or hear the service from that weekend. So if you’re interested, here is a link to our church’s website where you can watch the service from 11-29-14. http://www.crossroadsnewnan.org/thanksology/

Trusting His Plan,
Sandra

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9 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Karla
    Dec 09, 2014 @ 08:47:06

    I know you’re not asking for this, but it looked like pain on your face and that was appropriate for your story of God’s faithfulness through pain. It made it all the more real and authentic. Especially the part where you said “how can this be good? This is yucky” and then you clearly said that your family is going to choose to trust God as you continue to walk in this. We all need to hear that being honest is okay and that choosing to trust God often has nothing to do with our feelings! We trust Him BY FAITH, when the feelings won’t get better or happier right then. That’s where He wants us all to be in the midst of our own hard places. I really love that you are being real through this, because it reminds me that God doesn’t choose strong people for hard things, He wants us to trust HIM to be strong through hard things. Thanks for your concern for me Sunday. I am trusting in God over here too! šŸ™‚

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  2. Michele Bradfield
    Dec 09, 2014 @ 10:21:59

    You did a great job, Sandra! God was glorified through your testimony!

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  3. Kathleen
    Dec 09, 2014 @ 10:35:28

    We were not here on Thanksgiving so missed the service. But today I sat and wept again as you beautifully shared your walk through the loss of Greg. Sandra, do NOT stop blogging. I have used things you have written in prison, sharing your honest walk with God. I have used your words in the summer with college students struggling to understand the things God has allowed in their lives, and I have used things you have written with friends who needed to know that in the midst of pain and grief-God is still their loving Father. And your words have blessed me as well. God has given you a gift of expression. Your honesty with your struggles is real, yet your TRUST in God stands strong.
    I look forward to the publishing of your story in book form. False teachers are leading people to believe that we deserve health, wealth and happiness. Your life is a testimony that Scripture does not teach that heresy, but does teach that God uses everything in our lives to bring glory to Himself, if we choose to trust Him in the midst of the difficult circumstances in our lives. Thnak you.

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  4. Elise Kilgore
    Dec 09, 2014 @ 13:26:57

    Thank you for sharing this. I was at the Highway 154 service and missed it. Thank you for your authenticity… and for showing us God’s power and strength in your weakness. You beautifully presented God’s truth. We love you guys!

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  5. Dorcas
    Dec 09, 2014 @ 16:24:55

    The God story of your life has blessed me over and over. It means even more to me now as I walk beside my sister and family walk through this journey of losing a family member. It’s so difficult and every day is different.

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  6. Cindy Merrick
    Dec 11, 2014 @ 06:29:00

    Sandra I don’t know who else Good spike to through you, but I know He sent you to me. That Wed. Was my breast biopsy. I was very anxiously waiting for my results and God used you in particular, along with the song It is well, to give me peace that He would walk with me, carry me, and tolerate my sadness, anger or whatever I was feeling. At that point I no longer wondered if it was breast cancer….I felt God telling me it was, but it would be fine and He revealed it very early. Piece that passes understanding has flooded my soul. Thank you, my friend, for saying yes. It as for me and my burden was lessened by your sacrifice.

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  7. Cathy Goddard
    Dec 11, 2014 @ 13:44:58

    Sandra, my family heard you and your children at the Hwy 16 Campus at 11:30. It didn’t look like anger at all, just a very courageous woman obeying the Lord. Yes, I know you and I knew you wouldn’t have jumped up and down and volunteered for this. Tim was soooo proud of Jacob and we were awed by all of you. It is so important for you to remind us, and yourselves, of God’s great love especially as we face the holidays with loss. We love you and thank you for your obedience to your Savior.

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  8. Ike Copper
    Dec 19, 2014 @ 19:42:50

    Sandra, you are a beautiful shining star.

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