Two Years

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How can two years feel like two days and at the same time feel like twenty years???  Yesterday was the two year anniversary of Greg’s death.  Some days the pain and emotions are so raw that it feels like it all happened yesterday.  But at the same time, it seems like I’ve been without him forever.   I don’t know why, but this year was harder for me than this date last year.   My heart still aches for him…every day I find a new thing to miss about him.  My heart is still broken as I watch my children continue on without their Dad.  My heart still yearns for the things that will never be.  My heart is still sad that my life as Greg’s wife ended way before I had planned for it to end.  I always pictured us being one of those old couples that died within hours of each other…because one couldn’t live without the other.  🙂

As I stood at Greg’s gravesite yesterday, remembering the hardest, most heart-breaking day of my life, the Lord gently reminded me that even though it was the WORST day of MY life….it was the BEST day of GREG’S life.  It was the day that all the other days of his life were leading up to.  It was the climax of his 49 years on earth.  He had reached the end of the race that had been marked out for him.  And he ran that race well and he finished victoriously.  And he received the prize…the very Presence of Jesus!  Because Greg had put his faith in Jesus as his Lord and Savior, death did not win that day!  Greg was the victor, through Jesus!  And for this, I rejoice. I rejoice…but through tears of grief.

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My life has changed tremendously in the last two years.  This is not the story that I would have written for my life, but then again…I am not the author of my story.  But, I personally know the Author and I know that the story He writes can be trusted.  His plan, although not alway understood, can be trusted.

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We do not grieve like those who have no hope. Our hope is in Christ. Our hope is secure.  Two years without you, two years closer to seeing you again.  We love you Greg!

Trusting His Plan,                                                                                                                                                           Sandra

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